sleepy

IM so sleepy wich normally i would take a nap but i cant :( i have that sleep study tonite. im really not looking forward to this, i dont like hospitals let alone spend the nite at one! im so tired now but when i get there wich will be at 9 ill be wide awake for hrs im sure. i wish they could give me something to knock me out and not wake up till 6 lol

Had A great time at the fair last nite with my family and my best bud, i have pics just have to get them downloaded. we watched the demolition derby wich is always fun. my bf is normally in it but couldnt find a car but as he watched from the sidelines this year hes so determined to get a car for next year! there was 4 heaps wich means different classes of cars, small medium, large. a girl won for the small class and i believe guys won for the others. tonite if their car isnt too beat up they can be in it again and win big money.

ate some fried pickels wich werent that great, not much batter wich defeated the purpose. couple bites of my sons popcorn, a pit beef sandwich and that was it. i didnt even get a funnel cake so not bad! my bf got fried oreos they looked yummy but i didnt eat any. now im not gonna act like i just didnt want any of this stuff and im a good girl its mostly because i cant eat out too much when we go out, my tummy dont like it. i have IBS , sorry if too much info!

today is just a lazy lazy day, bf had to work and so hes home now and snoring away, had to get up real early.

tomorrow hopefully if it dont rain will be a day of cutting the grass wich really needs it and grocery shopping. hope everyones having a good weeked. later

iv got the greatest man

I no iv said it alot but i just love my boyfriend, hes the best!

He ended up getting off early today, hes a truck driver. even though he was tired and falling a sleep when he sat down he went with me to my appt at the hospital, didnt even have to ask him! i love him so much and appreciate how much he does for me. if only others could be so blessed! ARE YOU READY TO THROW UP YET OVER THIS LOVE FEST LOL

the echo cardio gram wasnt too bad but dont like my boobies all out but i guess i need to get over that! they make you take your shirt off and no bra and put a gown on open in the front so that was alittle uncomfortable. i have no clue what i was looking at on that screen but i heard my heart so i no i do have one! lol i just hope everything looked good, fingers crossed!

we didnt end up going to burger/karaoke nite, bf was to tired and plus we really didnt wanna spend the money as we will be going to the fair tomm nite.
when we go to burger nite even though its build your own burger i normally get a grilled chicken sandwich as i dont like read meat much. i got a great comment on here about when i get a burger to take the bun off and thats a great idea and i could do that with the chicken as well, iv never done it but could deffiently start! any comment as long as its not mean is welcome here, im verrrrrry easy going! lol

oh has anyone ever had purple green beans????? we got some today from a friend and they said when you cook them they turn like a dark green. iv said many many times before i dont no how to cook good and iv never cooked fresh beans before just can lol so iv gotta figure out how to do this. we also got 100 ears of corn! couldnt pass up the deal, we will deffiently be freezing alot. well off to read some blogs before i crash, im getting sleepy! later

I feel so sick.......
i no its just a case of the nerves! i get my echo cardio gram done in couple hrs and im not so much worried about that, well at least i think im not.

i have to go to the hospital to get this done by myself wich i hate, im use to my side kick aka my bf going with me to appts. he couldnt get off work early today though so i gotta be a big girl AND go by myself. i hate having anxiety it really sucks, makes me so nervous to just do the simple things in life, going places.

tonites burger/karaoke nite so i gotta see when bf is getting off work and if he wants to go.

i dont even really wanna talk about my weight right now but i gotta face the facts im gaining :( i dont no why im eating the same i was, nothings changed and i was loosing but now iv gained alot and feel like crap more than i normally feel like my crappy self! im gonna do all i can to eat good and see what happens and if i dont start loosing again im gonna chalk it up to my body being so screwed up right now with the problems i got.

well gotta go and hit the shower,a nice hot shower always makes you feel alittle better! later

what to say............

So had a good weekend...... saterday we were suppose to go to the harrington state fair but didnt happen, they werent opening up till later in the day because of the extreme heat. we ended up going to a amish farmers market and just walked around. later that day we had dinner with my friend and then went to karaoke and had a good time! i didnt have my son all weekend , well till 5pm sunday! so it was a nice break for me and him. his aunt who watched him took him swimming and to the county fair, he rode rides so he had fun, although she said he would cry every so often, he missed me.

sunday we woke up to no a/c! you hear me no a/c that is a crime, im a baby i need air! its too darn hot around here for that. called bunch of stores and went to stores and no one had any window units couldnt belive it. well one place had them either walmart or kmart and the cheapest they had was $500 um yea no thanks! so called landlord and he said he would be out in the morning. so that nite had to suffer with no central air but we managed, had fans galore going! landlord came out today with a guy and he fixed it, sooooooooo happy! i lived 23 yrs of my life with my dad who we didnt a/c except in our room for at nite when going to bed, it would be like over 100 degrees in that house! crazy man dont like windows open! now days i couldnt live like that anymore! iv gotten spoiled i guess and old and fat lol

iv got this weird thing on my finger that happened the day after i ate crabs, dont no if its related or not. its a shiny itchy like round circle on the side of my finger, pretty nice size, have no clue what it could be ugh! my leg for 2 days has been hard as a rock and red, dont no what brought that on but it hurts! such problems always.

drs appt wednesday for a echo cardio gram(ultra sound of your heart) so i just wanna get that over with. going to the county fair this weekend to watch the demolition derby so that should be fun, hopefully its not too hot! well i guess thats it for now. im kinda slacking on reading blogs and commenting, alot on my mind with stuff going on. hope all is well. later

pics

These are the yummy crabs my honey brought me home for dinner! they are cleaned and cooked with onions and garlic and seasoning OH SO GOOD!

The other picture is of my bichon/poo, her haircut

Thanks for the great comments and support i really appreciate it !

Later!

ugh what a day!

Well i again was so dizzy today but new i had my appt with the surgion to talk about getting my gallbladder out. i met the dr and she was very nice but the appt didnt go like i thought it would..........

she was talking about my gallstones and how my mri came back that there looks like a stone is stuck in my duct and blocking something i didnt quite understand but what she got at is i cant get my gallbladder out till i go see a GI and get the scope put down my throat and see if there is a stone stuck and if so get it removed then the surgeon will do my surgery.

Then she gets to talking about she has my catscan reults i got it done almost 2 months ago and got my lungs checked. my rhemy dr had said i needed to go see a pulmonary dr but never said why. the surgeon starts telling me i have two masses on my lungs and they are big and it was written on the report in so many words that they cant say its not cancer! shes like dont start worrying but be prepared, im like huh???? i thought i was just getting my gallbladder stuff done and now shes freaking me out saying i might have cancer. so she asked when is my appt with the pulmonary dr, i told her i couldnt get in till end of next month. she said thats too long and she got me in today. so now i have like 5 appts i didnt have lol. oh and i come to find out i need oxygen, my levels got really low during a stress test so the dr said he would order me oyxygen. i have a sleep test next saterday and yada yada. im trying to stay positive and not think bad but its kinda hard. my mom started this way, things on her lungs and she died. im really trying to not get myself worked up, could be nuthin. this day has tottally just wore me out i just wanna go to bed!

theres just so much going on medically and with still no meds and insurance dont wanna pay so we gotta appeal............. ill be alright i no im just real down right now. anyway im not going to talk about it anymore and just live my life, cant let every rd block get me down. hope everyone is well. later

case of the dizzys

Iv been dizzy for days but today was really bad! i wonder if its from me not taking that one med anymore that i ran out of hmmmmmmm, i really gotta get that straightend out. im just tired of getting the run around and i really just cant concentrate.

had a tomatoe sandwich with the farm tomatoes i bought , added some light mayo and yummo! i dont think i will ever ever buy a tomatoe at the grocery store again, they just seem to be so flavorless.

The band saterday nite was pretty good and i enjoyed myself, even had a corona w/ lime. okay i had 1 n 1/2 corona w/lime lol. i couldnt finish it all and it was making feel ick! i sat there from 830 till i guess 12 something. buy time i got home i was swelled up and hurting like a mofo!

a cool thing that happened though is the lady in the band came up to me and said your awesome and i was like huh??? she said i remember you from karaoke and you sing really good. i finally figured out why she looked formilure. iv only met her once and that was 3 yrs ago but YEA she remembered me right away lol. the band is having a summer bash next month at their home and will be having other bands there as well. she said i could get up and sing some songs with the band if i wanted, so cool!


Have plans to go out again this saterday with some friends hope i feel good enough!

my son lost his 2nd tooth last nite, thank god! hes been so whiny here latley and complaining about that tooth so im glad its out! iv just gotta try to play tooth fairy again , its a hard thing to do. if i go near him when hes sleeping sometimes he wakes up, so then i cant slip the money under the pillow. TRUST ME I TRIED LAST nite with no luck! i will try again here in a bit.

tuesday i see the surgeon for my consultation on getting my gallbladder out, i hope it goes well. i hate seeing new drs!!!! then later that nite is the seminar i have to go to for weight loss surgery. i filled out the 17 pages tonite that i have to turn in.

i hope i feel better this week cause this sucks, i was just starting to feel good...... hope everyone has a great week. later

headin out

Im breaking free, im getting out! wahoooooo

Going to listen to a band tonite,its country/rock. its my friends band and this is their first show, iv never heard them play so looking forward to it. i also wanna see just how good they really are. see this guy the lead singer he comes to karaoke where i go and i like him and hes nice and he can sing good but can be really annoying! hes one of those guys that no's hes good and just acts cocky ugh really hate that!

i no i no i shouldnt because of my meds but i think im gonna have a beer, shush dont tell anyone! lol

its been a nice day so far, i slept in got showered we then went to a little amish produce market and i got me some tomatoes and corn on the cobb and some bananna bread. hope its tasty!

gonna go get ready for my nite out.......... hope everyone is having a good weekend. later

dropping like flies

Man my followers are dropping like flies! You dont love me no more :( oh well i didnt start this blog for anyone but myself and if you choose to not follow anymore its your choice.

im alittle stressed / confused. i called my rheumatologist on tuesday early. i was directed to leave a msg so i did, i said i was out of meds and needed them i had no more refills and because the dosage on the bottle doesnt match what im suppose to accually take i keep running out to soon. so iv called the pharmacy everyday since tuesday hoping my dr called my meds in , no luck. here its friday and they did call them in, what the heck took so long! new problem! my insurance doesnt want to pay for my meds or give me what i need because something about they will pay for 3 pills and not 5 like i need and need some kind of authorization yada yada i really dont understand.

i just no i just got this new insurance in july and i dont like them already!!! meds that were suppose to be covered arent being covered etc, i really dont no what to do.

so im going on 4 days now without my IMURAN that im suppose to take everyday. i feel okay for now but im afraid its going to slowey sneek up on me. wich scares me and gets me to start worrying probably over nuthin but still.i take this for my muscles and it wasnt doing that great of a job alone so we added other stuff but if we have to cut this med out then what???? i dont need my progress to start going backwards when im trying to get weight loss surgery. its really hard for me to explain what i really mean and feel. anyway.........

went swimming today that was great! i made sure to jump around and move my legs as much as possible for exercise! my bf and son thought that was funny! had chinese for dinner, big mistake my tummy hasnt felt good sense and i have really really bad heartburn or how do i explain this dull ache in my tummy that just feels like its gonna explode any minute????

not sure whats on the agenda for the weekend..... hopefully get the truck washed and maybe go swimming again. hope everyone has a good one. later

the sun is out!

This good mood today is brought to you by the SUN! its finally out! OH and it helps that iv lost 7lbs since yesterday lol. i tell you when i swell i swell.

i dont really have much to say but thought i write something anyhow. im just sitting here listening to some music.

had some yummy lowfat eggrolls! iv been craving chinese so bad, i dream of the buffet at nite haha.

incase you hadnt noticed im always all over the place when i write...... im the same way in my life, like when your talking to me. one minute we can be talking about something and ill jump to something else and then back to what we were talking about before. i guess i do that because ill forget what i have to say lol. although i do that when i shop as well. i see a shirt and keep going back to it like a couple times before i can truley make up my mind.

well gonna go, later!

whered the blogs go

I tried reading blogs today but it said i have none i follow???? whats up with that, whered they go :(

bla bla bla

Thats how i feel! iv felt just yucky since monday..... no energy, body hurting, bloated etc! im up 12lbs in a week ugh! i no im swollen i can really feel the difference and it sucks!

ITS MAKING ME SO DARN MISERABLE! luckley my bf no's if he comes home from work and im in bed that means i dont feel good and leave me alone lol.

even though i dont feel good we are going to go to karaoke/burger nite. i dont feel like cooking but for once in 2 days i dont really feel like eating either. im really just going so my son can get out of the house for a bit, its been miserable here for days with all the rain. we need it but i still hate it!

on a different note wish that when i plan something with someone or someone says they can or going to do something that i didnt have to keep worrying or checking up on them to make sure it was gonna happen. wish i more than like 1 or 2 people i could depend on, no questions asked!

carnival is here tomm in are town so might be taking the kid, depends on how he acts. hes been so mouthy latley but i think it has some to do with being stuck in the house . is no one reading my blog anymore , no one really leaves comments :( you could just say hi, bye, how the hell or you lol. well gonna go , later

party

SO here i sit just waiting to get in the shower. my son is still sleeping!its 10:42 hes normally been up for couple hrs by now. ever since he got out of school for the summer hes been going to bed so late.... oh well he can enjoy it while he can till school starts back up.

we have a birthday party to go to today and so since its so hot! the kids will be on the super water slide as usual. momma here will be in the house with the a/c haha.

i tried some greek yogurt today since some of you rave about it and i wanted to see what it taste like........ not bad, alot less sweet than regular yogurt i think but id probaly buy again , more so if it went on sale. i normally just buy whats on sale if i can.

we went grocery shopping yesterday and spent lots of money, we only go once a month and so the bill was almost $400 geez! prices on food go up everytime i turn around. but now we got so much food in the house i dont no what to eat first. its bad when you dont have any food in the house but its just as bad when we have alot because then i think i eat more!

iv talked before on here about getting weight loss surgery and i finally did something about it. i called a place im interested in getting it done and tryed to set up an appt but was told i have to go to a seminar first. so they have one on the 20th of this month im getting my sister to go with me, hopefully she dont back out! after i go then i can get an appt with a surgion. im already thinking because im just miss suzie sunshine full of postiveness YEA RIGHT! that hes gonna say he cant do it right now because im not healthy enough yada yada. i hope thats not the case so thats why im just gonna go ahead with this anyhow and see what they say, you never no!

Im so suprised my bf is okay with this, i had to ask him because he takes such good care of me now would he want the added mess that im going to have to go thrue and hes fine with it. but of course he did say why are you doing this now you need to focus on getting your gallbladder out wich i am, i see the surgion on the 20th.

i guess because now i have insurance i wanna get done all that i need to get done before god forbit my insurnace ends. i no what its like to have no insurance and its hard! exspecially if you have to get test done all the time and lots of places now wont even see you without insurance!

i dont no maybe im putting to much on myself right now and this isnt going to be a good idea but for some reason i just gotta try!

we got our bichon/poodle a haircut yesterday,nails cut, ears cleaned, the works i love it! but if you seen her you wouldnt no what breed she is because she just doesnt look the same. i got her hair cut the shortest possible, she looks so skinny! we had to get her haircut because it got so long and curly and everytime we gave her a bath it would just get so notted up even when i brushed it and matted! the groomer said theres nothing i can do about it its gonna happen so we are gonna keep it short for now. this is officially my new fave grooming place, it cost $35 and they didnt knick her up at all like the other place and they put a bow on her coller :)

its a shame i need a haircut and highlight so bad but the dog got her hair done first lol

well gonna get off here and get ready. stay cool, later!

Wow its been so hot and no end in site! today was around 100 and tomm is suppose to be too! I had a great weekend. saterday we went over bf cousins and had a bbq and put the water slide up. sunday i was feeling so bad!!!! bf went to walmart to see what he could do about getting me some predinsone. i ran out and called it in last week, i had just enought to last me till i picked up the prescription. well i had no refills. my dr had a week to call me some more in but ovouisly didnt, go figure! This is a medicine i have to have and i take it everyday. just going couple hrs without it my body was killing me and i felt like i had the flue. my bf managed to get me some from an old prescription, screw u drs office, im really not liking them right now! we went to my friends house for bbg and then we went and seen the fireworks. the place were we parked to see them we set up are chairs and there was accually dominos pizza there lol. the boys started begging for a pizza and so my friends dad bought the boys a pizza. a delivery person just walked around selling medium pizzas for $5. they just walk right up to where ever you were sitting, it was crazy to me lol, it was a nice time.

This sunday is my anniversary, me and my bf will have been together for 8 yrs! i no im probaly driving him crazy by keep reminding him of the day but for me its special. iv never been in a relationship this long so it means alot to me. we have no special plans, we accually have a birthday party to go to and thats about it. maybe i can get him to take me out to dinner saterday.

This week feels like its going by slow and im just miserable, just moody and not happy! i think i need to go swimming if i can ever get the vehicle to go.

im gonna try to post some pics of my son on the water slide. stay cool, later!

drs appts/crabs

I FINALLY got my drs appts all set up im so happy! i put it off for long enough and then something just got me motivated today to stop delaying and just do it! good thing too, i couldnt get in to see the lung dr till august 19th and the 31st geez thats a long wait! i go see the surgeon on the 2oth of this month to talk about getting my gallbladder out, yay! so im moving along slowley but surley.

my mouth or i should say left gum is KILLING ME!!! i have what i believe to be a wisdom tooth coming in on my bottom row, the tooth dosent hurt its my gum, ouch! hope it goes away soon, i dont have dental insurance nor the funds for that right now!

my girly friend invited me to lunch tomm so we are going to don pablos/ mexican food. iv never been so hope its good, hope i can eat with this pain. i think im gonna stop and get some numbing type gel and see if that helps the pain.

we had crabs last saterday THEY WERE SO GOOD OMG! my bf's boss invited us over for crabs so we went. he cooks them like this, he takes off the shell and cleans them good then cooks them with old bay seasoning, onions, garlic and oh my heaven! you get spoiled so you wouldnt want a regular ole crab lol. we went swimming also it was a nice time. my sis n law watched my son, she offered so hey why not thats a bonus being kid free!

This weekend no real plans for saterday but sunday going to my girlfriends house for bbq and kids are gonna play on the water slide, fireworks after. it should be fun!

Thank god my insurance started for my medicine because im all out and i aint feeling too hot! i figured i could go one day without some pills but im deffiently getting them filled tomm!

i love my dad with all my heart but he just doesnt get it some times. i talked to him today and he was asking me how im doin...... well normally i dont say how i truley am doing health wise cause he doesnt understand but today i told him about the new drs iv gotta see etc....... he was like all you need to do is loose weight and you will be fine. WHAT????#?$?%/6/ this really pisses me off!I NO I NEED TO LOOSE WEIGHT GEEZ, but my problem isnt caused by my weight, iv even lost weight. he doesnt believe in taking medicine for anything and hes very old fashion. i think next time we talk i will just stick with im fine if he asks how im doing.

The weather here in MD has been beautiful and not to hot! wish it would stay that way but i no it soon shall pass.
well gonna go im alittle tired. hope everyone has a safe and fun 4TH! later!