Well i guess since i changed my blog look i need to accually write an entry.............lol i will but not today , soon though. hope all is well..........
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
IM so glad i dont have to be out in the heat or work in it, id never last! iv been spoiled by the a/c! iv been a busy girl or i should say busyier, i never truly have a busy life wich thats the way i like it. thats why i live in the country now its a slower way of life lol.
we went to the fair over the weekend and that was a great time! my boyfriend was in the demilition derby and he made out pretty good but didnt win. his car didnt get beat up too bad so he was able to use the car the next nite in the derby, he didnt drive it though a friend did. then he sold the car to a scrap company that was there. two years ago they gave us $250 for the deby car this year only $75 that sucks! the price for scrap metel sure has went down.
helped host a jewlery party and that was fun, i didnt get any free stuff :( but lots of discounts!
this sunday we are going to a seafood festival with my good friend and that should be fun. i plan on tasting some aligater nuggets i seen they will have hmmmmmmm wonder what they taste like?
overall life is good, talking to my sister again, we arent close close like we use to be and it doesnt upset me like it use to but we are talking and shes spending time with my son again. she says hes such a joy to be around and never a problem!
i havent been been feeling well latley i dont no what is up. i no my muscle test arent good and arent getting anybetter but iv always pretty much felt the same but these past 2 weeks iv just felt BAD! my body pain normally goes away when i take my meds but its been really bad to the point that i want pain pills thats all i think about because tylonal just isnt cutting it anymore. headaches glore and just feel nausea. almost like the flue except no throwing up! guess its time to get blood work done , i havent had it done in a month , and see whats going on. well heres your entry lucy, glad you check up on me to see if im a live just kidding! i hope everyone has a good week. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 4:24 PM
Friday, July 10, 2009
soooooo its been awhile yet again lol! im doing pretty good just taking it day by day!
my boyfriend is suppose to be in the demolition derby the end of this month at the fair and so hes been trying to get his car done, has to tear alot of stuff out. so iv been going swimming at his cousins while hes doing that, love getting in a pool, well a inground pool! its very good for strengthing my legs wich i need! after i get done swimming im soooooo tired and have accually fell asleep sitting there in the chair drying off lol.
tomm( saterday) is me and my boyfriends 7yr anniversary, im sooooo happy! this is my longest relationship iv ever had, normally only last almost a yr, so this is an accomplishment! i love this man with all my heart! hes been there for me thrue my bad times being sick and just has always taken such good care of me and my son! we are planning on going out to dinner somewheres nice, not sure where yet. well somewhere he can still wear jeans and a nice shirt, the man hates to dress up :(
on the sad front my sister whom i use to be close with we are no longer close and i really truley have no idea why. we had the fall out back in feb over something stupid and it took over a month to talk again but i thought things were fine. seen her on easter and things were fine and ever since then she just doesnt have time for me or my son. i havent accually talked to her, heard her voice in like 2 months. weve maybe exchanged emails like 3 times since may. she just always sayd she's sooooo busy, i say bullshit! i realize people get busy but that doesnt mean stop talking to the ones you love. and i called her out on it because my son is upset that he never sees her anymore and she doesnt talk to him. hes 5, he was soooo close to her and then she does this, i dont think its right. all i ask from her is to see her once a month for couple hrs i really dont think thats too much to ask. shes like a mother to me but now im being pushed to the side till she has time for me. i let her no how i was feeling and how hurt i am and what did i get as a repley back...... nothing its been 2 weeks since i wrote her and shes said nothing so shes avoiding the issue. so i say forget it! im tired of people never being there for me, i try so hard to be there for the people i love, its really not that hard. shes soooo busy she went to boston couple weeks ago for the weekend for the heck of it for no reason, i say thats bullshit! thats the word of the day i guess! so i warned her the more you push me away the more ill stay away and when you finally do have time for me i wont be here, im like that with everyone. anyway it hurts it sucks and iv gotta quit dwelling on it.
things have been just really good around here otherwise and im loving life! i hope everyone else is doing good, gotta catch up on blogs, same ole story right lol. have a good weekend. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 6:58 PM
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Posted by *Tracy* at 9:15 AM
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Posted by *Tracy* at 12:31 PM
Thursday, April 30, 2009
!m feelin real good today, hope that means its a start to a good weekend for me. we are leaving for west virginia at 4 am and i have to admitt im getting excited. just really looking foward to getting away, i no i get out once in awhile for karaoke but thats just not the same lol.
walmart called today and said my glasses or in so im going to get them in a bit, my eye test went good, im not as blind as i thought! my right eye is alot worse than my left though. but oh well, i picked out a modern pair of frames and hope i like them as much as i did that day when i looked at them.
i think today is going so good for me because i called my dad to tell him i love him and that i was leaving for my trip shortley, he goes to bed around 6 so i had to call him early to say bye lol . he told me he loved me and then i talked to my sister that i dont talk to much and we had a heart to heart today and for once finally exspressed how we were feelin about things.
i feel so much better now because iv always wanted a relationship with her but it just wasnt there and i guess with this whole thing going on with my dad peoples feelings change and gets you thinking and we decided to put the past in the past and focus on the future and it feels good!
oh and my new couches came in but i wont be here to get them, they wanted to deliver this weekend. so i will have to wait till next weekend. i guess i can live with that lol!
im gonna try to take some pics on my new camera i got, i heard at nite its really beautiful on the mountain. well im off here, gotta start packing, i always wait till the last minute to do everything "sigh" , will be back sunday hopefully! hope everyone has a great weekend. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:46 PM
Monday, April 27, 2009
its a beautiful , HOT day here! the bummbel bee's were trying to run me off my porch this morning. i wait on the porch to see my son off to school on the bus but there was so many bee's they were freaking me out! im a just alittle scared of em! they decided to build a nest somewhere and make home but they gotta go. i called bf and told him youve gotta do something because i cant deal with bee's wizzing by my head lol.
Had a good weekend, really didnt do to much because it was just to darn hot! saterday nite went to a friends house for drinks and i had 4 wine coolers and all it did to me was make tired lol. i guess i cant hang like i use too. use to be able to drink couple beers or something and get drunk but now i just get tired :P dont need to get drunk though to have fun. today was my fathers stress test, i hope it went or is going good. im not sure what time his appt was, my sister is suppose to call me and let me no how things went.
im going to the eye drs tomm at walmart and lets see how blind iv become. i normally wear glasses now to read or drive at nite, but iv been needing them to watch tv so that its not so blurry. i dont like the glasses i have now, dont like the frames. so im excited to pick a new pair that i will be comfortable wearing at any time.
im getting excited about this friday, its D Day, i go camping in west virginia. im still not to kean on the camping part even if its in a camping trailer, just looking forward to getting away. theres 10 of us going i believe and we are leaving 4am friday mornin. so ill be sleeping alot of the way there im sure lol its 6hrs away. well not much more to say, hope everyone is having a good day.
heres a link to a song i recorded. janie got me addicted to this now, so i had to try it out. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:50 PM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
"Sigh" im just in a quite mood right now as it feels my mind is racing a mile a minute.
found out yesterday that my dad isnt doing to good, you cant tell by lookin at him thats for sure and thats whats so scary! my sister dragged him to the drs because he hates drs, gee wonder where i get that from......... she took him to the eye drs last week because he just cant see that good and so he let her take him and it was no good news. hes got bleeding behind his eyes and thats from being diabetic and not taking care of it and ignoring it like everything else. so then went to regular dr ysterday and they checked him over and did ekg and he was told that hes had a heart attack at some point and has had a stroke and hes got a clogged artery somewheres, high blood pressure, high cholestrol,so next week hes gotta get a stress test done.
im trying not to worry about this and just pray that he gets himself all taken care of and he will be fine but............ you cant make someone take care of them selves who dont want to. hes so stubbern and set in his ways, always thinks that it will just go away, you'll get over it etc etc. to this day he still doesnt understand my disease and thinks it will just poof go away and tells me i just need to exercise, move around. well daddy your exercising and lifting weights and how great of shape you think your in your not, your falling apart! so im not suppose to let him no i no anything , he doesnt want anyone to no but of course my sis told me, thank god! i mean his kids should no whats going on hes are only father.
when i talked to him ysterday on the phone and it was a nice conversation he told me he loved couple times and when i got off the phone reality set in that this is some serouis stuff, hes a ticking time bomb and just doesnt get it! i dont want to loose him , we may not have always gotten along but hes always been there for me and a great father and i dont no what id do without him. i think alot of times when bad things happen i just try not to think about it so maybe i dont have to face it, maybe its from being a kid watching my mom slowley die, i dont no but i cant hide from this and neither can he. hes 68 yrs old and needs to be around for along time! sorry this post is a downer but iv just got alot on my mind. hope everyone has a good day! hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:01 PM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Well what to say what to say hmmmmmm........
the weathers been pretty nice around here except for the rain showers, could do without that!
had to go to baltimore on monday to see a specialist and that was a nightmare for me lets just leave it at that but thank god its over!
i got a letter in the mail and iv been picked for jury duty. now some of you this would be fun or whatever lol but not to me, im trying to get out of it. this brings on anxiety real bad lol, i really do hope i can get out of it at this time!
i do have some fun things coming up soon wich im excited about. going over a friends house saterday for some drinks and catching up so i hope it turns out good and next friday may 1st going to west virginia with some family to go camping! now camping isnt really my thing but they want me to go so i figure going for the weekend wont kill me, i wont be sleeping in a tent i will be sleeping in a camping trailer thank god! im just looking forward to being in the open woods, field whatever you wanna call it and enjoying the senery and fire etc. i hope i make it back without getting eatin by a grizzy bear lol. they told me you hear all the animals at nite, that really makes me feel good.............um what else what else?????? when i wait to long to write i forget all i had to say dang it! been busy here trying to get rid of stuff, cleaning out the house and giving on freecycle. but again freecyle just really irritates me with some of the greedy a$$ people on there, i wont go any further it will just make me mad. i hope everyones week is going good and have a good day. tata
Posted by *Tracy* at 10:00 AM
Thursday, April 9, 2009
its been awhile since i wrote but really nothing new going on i dont think. its a beautiful day here and in the 60's or its suppose to be, i havent been out yet. im meeting a girl off here today shes coming by to get some books i have, so hopefully that meeting goes well. im always nervous meeting someone new but hey you gotta do it sometime.
iv got such bad heartburn and a raging headache , i think ill survive, i hope!
iv got alot of drs appts this month, not my thing. i have to see regular dr tomm to fill out paperwork, then next week to see specialist then week after that have to drive to baltimore to see another specialist ugh! im swelling up so bad and gaining alot of weight and just HATE IT! with my illness i always swell but its been so much worse since i was put on a pill once a week for my bones amonth ago. why cant i fight one battle at a time instead of dealing with my weight too!
my sister is finally talking to me and we hashed out everything and im happy, one thing less to stress about. one really exciting thing in my life is we are getting new couches, yay me! never had new furniture always buy used and are couch was functional but seeing better days so we had a screw it moment one day and went and looked at couches and bought a reclining sofa and reclining loveseat. now my problem is the waiting, they said like 4, 6 weeks!!!!!! i hate waiting on things youve already payed for, but i no it will be worth it!
i live in a duplex and come to find out my neighbors are moving sometime soon, not real happy about that. i mean we didnt talk much it was a young girl who lives there shes 27 and her husband whos gone all the time but she really keeps to herself alot. thats nice but then would like someone to move in who i could hang out with or form some relationship with since im home all the time! she was or is a little crazy or maybe thats not nice to say but i use to order avon from her and then one day around christmas she just stopped selling to me and hasnt talked to me since, i dont even no what i did wrong, talks to my bf though. then they say they are moving because someone at nite when they let the dogs out are pointing them red pointer lights at them and throwing rocks, peeking in the windows etc . say what! iv never heard of such a thing, iv lived here for almost 4 yrs and never have had a problem so far thank god! but she is bypolar and stuff so who no's. hopefully its not really true cause i dont wanna start being scared living here.
going to karaoke with my friend this saterday from 4-8 and it will be the first time going out without boyfriend, everywhere i go he goes but it will be nice for him to do his own thing and me do my thang. no plans for easter unfortuanally, it will just be another day around here wich is sad! wish i could get my family together but that aint gonna happen. well gonna quit ranting and do some laundry. hope everyone has a great day and wonderful easter! hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:23 PM
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Its raining today, its so gloomy but im not so thats all that counts lol! we went out for karaoke last nite at this buffet resturant and went because we can take our son, they allow kids to go. it was fun and nice to see some friends! just recently i had a male friend or i shouldnt say hes my friend because we dont talk like that but iv known him for years and he goes to karaoke where i go. he caught me on the computer and was talking to me and told me years ago he had a crush on me......... it was so nice to hear. and was saying how i am still cute etc and i felt bad him saying that because i do have a boyfriend of 6yrs but sure did make this old lady feel good! i havent been hit on for what seems like forever and always feel down about myself and for someone to say sweet things sure brightened my day and spirits! so i was talking to that guy when my boyfriend came hom from work but he didnt care i was talking to him, hes not the jealous type. i said hes flirting with me do you care???? he was like no and i dont think he really believed me but i told him somethings the guy had said and he was like yes he was deffiently flirting but again....... doesnt seem to faze boyfriend. im glad it doesnt bother him but also wish he would show something and at least realize that someone else could be attracted to me lol. but anyway....... this week is going by fast and i hope this weekend is a nice one because i feel like taking a nice long car ride thrue some back ,hilly , farmy, amishy roads lol. i wrote my sister( the one not talking to me) and told her this is my last attempt to find out what i did. she wrote me back and said she isnt ignoring me and is just busy with husband retiring and etc but she will be in touch and loves me, now WTH! how come she can be busy but jump down my throat when i was busy and didnt get back to her????? somethings i will never understand lol! anyway hope everyone is doing good. i dont like this new verizon internet i have, its faster ill give it that but alot of times i cant get on??????? take care, hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:40 PM
Friday, March 20, 2009
Its been awhile since i wrote, just havent been in the mood and plus switched over to verizon internet and so i have to figure things out lol. can anyone tell me how to switch my email contacts over to my new address????? im such a ditz sometimes! this week has been a pretty good one, i was deffiently in a better mood thats for sure except.............. my son is driving me crazy! okay i get that hes 5 but the things hes doing i just cant take! i was in the livingroom the other day and seen some chip crumbs on the floor, okay........ but further inspection he done stuffed a couple handfulls of chips under my couch and they were sticking out! i cant deal with food around the house and being hidden, i think its nasty and i dont want no bugs! then i find cheese wrappers under is his bed, candy wrappers etc. you would think i dont feed my kid the way he is hiding stuff. trust me hes well fed and 10pds over weight to prove it so why is he acting like this, just because i dont say yes to everything he wants? if it was up to him he would probobly eat all day, hes a picker and he wants junk all the time, i cant have that. i dont want him to have a weight problem when he grows up. so we had a talk with him about just taking food and hiding it etc and hopefully he gets it thrue his head because i dont want to keep dealing with this. my neice is suppose to be comeing down to spend the nite tonite( its my sisters daughter the one that STILL ISNT TALKING TO ME) so we'll see if she shows up, she wont call most likley just show up wich i hate! so things are pretty good around here and hope they continue that way. hope everyone has a great weekend. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:06 PM
Thursday, March 12, 2009
so hows life treating everyone??????? im doing pretty good just so darn tired this week, all i think about doing is sleeping! im miserable and down as usual too dont no if its that time of month again or what, i never no these days. i think my sister not talking to me is getting to me. accually i dont think it is i no it is!! i just dont get why shes acting this way, life is just way too short to be so petty. when we do finally talk its going to be all awkward and im not going to no what to say so shes just making it worse. BUT I REPEAT im not going to call her anymore or make anymore attempts because like i said thats what she wants, shes queen bee and wants everyone to bow down to her and im not doing it! but i miss her soooo much, its been 2 weeks now since weve talked :(
watched empire of the sun yesterday i like that movie, have you ever seen it? its a war movie and im not really into those but its about a littles boys life and so i guess they always get me because having a son of my own.
ugh iv gotta call the clothing place i ordered clothes from because its now been 2 weeks and still no clothes , why am i scared to call?????? i hate calling people back regarding bills or anything really. and to think i use to be a phone operator :P now having to call someone other than a friend or family makes me nervous and start to sweat, weird huh lol!
but other than me being a grumpy you no what life really is good right now and i feel very blessed and thankful because it could be worse. when things are going good im always waiting for the shoe to drop. boyfriend hates that about me, he says i complain when things are bad but then i complain when things are good, that im never happy. i dont no why that is............. i just always think good = bad at some point so i try not to get too excited over things. im weird what can i say. just tell me to shut up and enjoy life!lol hope everyone is having a good day, almost the weeekend. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:20 PM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:08 PM
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
SO FORGOT TO POST THAT THE MOVIE CHANGELING WAS GREAT! I LOVED IT, BUT SOOOO SAD. SOOOOO HMMMM WHAT DID I WRITE ABOUT LAST, I ALWAYS FORGET LOL.
MY SISTER IS JUST ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME, SHES GOING TO BE 45 BUT SHE ISNT ACTING IT! SHES ALL MAD AT ME BECAUSE I HAVENT TALKED TO HER IN LIKE A WEEK N HALF! GET OVER IT! SHES ALWAYS BUSY AND IM FINE WITH THAT AND IM NEVER BUSY SO I TALK TO HER WHEN I TALK TO HER. WE DO NORMALLY TALK EVERYDAY OR EVERYCOUPLE DAYS BUT SHE SAID SHE WOULD CALL ME BECAUSE IM ALWAYS CALLING HER , SO THATS FINE. WELL IV BEEN BUSY LATLEY WITH FUNERAL AND GOT THE NEW CAR SO BEEN GETTING OUT MORE . SO ANYWAY I CALL HER TODAY AND SHE WASNT HOME SO LEFT HER A MESSAGE . I GET ON THE COMPUTER AND READ EMAILS AND THERES ONE FROM HER AND SHES ASKING ME WHAT MY PROBLEM IS AND NOT IN A NICE WAY AND SAYING I NEED TO GROW UP AND QUIT BEING PISSY ETC ETC. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO??????? SHES GOT SOME SEROUIS ISSUES. AND TOO TOP IT OFF WHEN SHES MAD AT ME ITS SHES ALWAYS GOTTA THROW THIS IN MY FACE" AFTER ALL IV DONE FOR YOU" WHY DO ANYTHING FOR ME IF IM GOING TO BE CONSTANTLY REMINDED ABOUT IT!!!! UGH SHE JUST RUINED MY DAY BIG TIME BECAUSE I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO HER.
MY SON DIDNT HAVE SCHOOL TODAY SO HES HOME DRIVING ME CRAZY, NA NOT REALLY HES ACCUALLY NOT GIVING ME ANY PROBLEMS FOR A CHANGE.
I GO SEE MY SPECALIST TOMM AND GOOD THING BECAUSE FOR 2 DAYS WICH I DIDNT REALIZE MY REG DRS OFFICE HAS BEEN TRYING TO REACH ME. MY PRIMARY DR WANTED TO NO WHEN I WAS GOING TO SEE THE OTHER DR BECAUSE MY LIVER AND MUSCLE TEST CAME BACK HIGH. MY REG DR GETS MY RESULTS TOO WHEN I GET TEST DONE. I TOLD THEM I WILL BE SEEING THE DR TOMM AND SAID I DIDNT NO ANYTHING ABOUT THE TEST BECAUSE I GOT THEM DONE 3 WEEKS AGO AND THEY HAVENT CALLED ME TO TELL ME ANYTHING. I GUESS THEY FIGURED THEY WOULD WAIT BECAUSE I WOULD BE SEEING HIM SOOON. WHO NO'S, JUST WEIRD MY REG DR WOULD CALL, HE NEVER DOES. UGH IM SOOOOO IRRITATED RIGHT NOW, ITS AMAZING HOW SOME PEOPLE CAN JUST REALLY RUIN YOUR DAY REAL FAST. HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD DAY. HUGS
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:42 PM
Monday, March 2, 2009
Its snowing!!!!!!! my son didnt have school today so now hes home and bugging me to go outside and build a snowman! yea right! mamma isnt leaving her nice warm house, hes going to have to wait till daddy gets home! so had a pretty nice weekend, we went out for karaoke on saterday at this place thats like a vfw. they only have karaoke once a month so i try to go and the people are pretty friendly and except us even though we arent members. gots lots of compliments on my singing too wich is always nice lol. yesterday( sunday) we went to the grocery store wich was a big mistake because everyone and their momma was there freaking out because of the snow. we were just there to do are regular grocery shopping wich we only go like every 3 weeks sometimes longer, we had nothing in this house!!!!! i dont no why we wait so long, but yesterday was deffiently not the day to go i see now.
dont have much planned this week just have to see my specialist on thurday and get my blood test results back and other results and see what he has to say yada yada..........
we got a car last week, not a new one but new to us and boyfriend is oh so happy. now he doesnt really have to drive the other car except to work, wich is on its last leg. he cant wait till july and hes going to use it in the demolition derby lol. but anyway got another car and its suppose to really be mine because im stuck at home all the time, but i havent gotten to drive it yet! :( not that i really want to though, i dont drive much and when i do it makes me nervous and anxouis . but i would like the option to drive if i wanted to is all but boyfriend cant stand not being the driver.
my sinuses are killing me today for some reason, my nose keeps burning i wish it would stopppppp! i think for the rest of the day im just going to do some laundry, change the bed sheets and get a shower and then watch a movie. we rented this movie called changeling, anyone seen it?? its based back in the 1920's i think and about a woman whos son disapears or something and they find him like years later but come to find out its not really her son. i dont no i might have that all screwed up but i think thats what the box said lol. anyway so going to watch that and thats about it. hope everyone has a great day! hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 11:33 AM
Monday, February 23, 2009
so i really hope this week is a better one because last week just sucked! the funeral for our family friend that passed away is wednesday and then they are having a get together at the vfw afterwards , so im hoping i can go.
went to my dads sunday and it was really was nice seeing him and he accually seemed happy to see me. i was telling him about this car we looked at before we came there and how we might buy it because ours is just falling apart. he accually offered me money and kept handing it to me but i couldnt take it. i told him we have the money but i truley apprecaite the offer. whew is it hard to turn down money lol well it is for me anyhow because i dont work and cant always get what i want because i dont wanna ask for it so for my dad to be handing me mundo cash and for me to say no it was hard. but i feel so good about it! he said if you dont take it someone else will, meaning one of my money grubbin brothers, but i feel my dad needs it more than i do.hmmmmmm what else oh afterwards we left my dads and went to my friends sons birthday he was turning one. it was the first time for me meeting him, i havent seen my friend in over a year. i had a great time! we talked lots and it was just like old times, i hope she realizes that over a year is just too long to go with out seeing one another when we dont live that far from one another.
i forgot to mention that boyfriend bought me a laptop for valentines day. got a really nice for cheap from walmart of course! i just havent been able to use it yet. i have dial up right now with aol and for my laptop ill have to get highspeed but im just not sure who to go with. who do you guys have and do you like them? i have verizon, comcast, sprint, and someone else to choose from i think. hopefully i can get that up and running sometime this week.
got me some girlscout thin mints over the weekend too, they are going to send me over the edge! dont even wanna talk about my weight. ever since it seems dr upped my meds my weights been going up too! iv gained 10pds in about 3 weeks! but i realize eating girl scout cookies isnt helping matters but i wanted them lol. all i can say is i bought them saterday and still have half a box left so im not doing too bad lol. hope everyone has a good week. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:43 PM
Friday, February 20, 2009
okay so this about says it all! lol im probobly going to be all over the place writing today cause i just have so much stuff on my mind. i havent been around because i just...... dont no....... havent felt like writing . iv been a moody you no what this week and having headaches everyday, wich is normal every month pretty much. i no to much info but basically i get all the symptoms of pmsing but dont get the flow if you no what i mean, i havent had one in like 8 months. i guess my body is so outta wack. but yea still get all the crappyness feelings!
todays not good for me because weve lost another good person in the world, why cant the bad evil people die, why the good? ill never understand! my boyfriends cousins wifes father passed away this morning in bed, wich if your gonna go thats the way i wanna go. im heart broken he was just such a wonderful, caring, giving person. he was in his 70's i believe and this was tottally un exspected wich is what scares me the most. iv been trying to reach my dad and he just doesnt answer the darn phone, it really ticks me off! he doesnt have caller id so he assumes its solisters, wich i dont want to talk to them either but hey its your daughter trying to see how the heck you are! i havent talked to him since jan. havent seen him since christmas. im just worrying about him because hes all alone and if something happened to him and i never got to say how i feel i would never be able to forgive myself. im glad my sis sees him at least once a week and my brothers see him i just cant because he lives like 45 mins away and are piece of crap car might not make it there and with all the working bf was doing couldnt get there to see him. he wont come see me, but im not going to go there because thats a hurt and resentment i cant hold on to. iv got to be the bigger person and make the effort to see him even though it works both ways. i wanted this entry to be a happy one but it just isnt looking that way is it! when i have thoughts in my head though iv gotta get it out or it would eat me alive , you no what i mean. just like earlier today i didnt need to hear from my sister whos like a mother to me that earlier this week she thought about killing herself, i dont think she would but you never no. she doesnt realize what she does to me by saying that, am i suppose to be well okay, good for you for not going thrue with it???????? i yelled at her and was like your being stupid, there is nothing that bad in this world that is worth taking your life. plus i always add that its a sin and i do believe even though i dont go to church that they say its a sin and you will go to hell. i tell her you will never get to see our mother again in heaven if you do something to yourself and that gets her upset! she just doesnt seem to think i care about stuff because i dont always show my feelings are havent always been able to. but i think iv changed alot in that aspect, im always telling people i love them and tell them what i think about stuff instead of beating around the bush. and i appreciate life way more than i ever have. some people iv learned you just cant change and you cant change their way of thinking and if they dont think i love them even though i go out of my way to show them then what more can i do??????? i cant spend the rest of my life guit ridden everytime its thrown in my face something i didnt do or heck even someones birthday i forgot. i say get over it! you dont have to forget but you shouldnt always throw it back in someone face, we all make mistakes and always will.
so on to happy news i finally caught up with my niece last saterday and we went bowling, it was a pretty good time. it would have been better if her 2yr old wasnt having a melt down because he was tired! so for the 3 hrs we were there 2 were pretty bad and the last hr was better because he was napping and then when he woke up last half hr the kids started playing together. we are planning to get together sometime soon just dont no when. my son is doing so much better, thought he had pink eye there last week, he ended up having sinus infection. he finally had a physical done and hes all good right now and the dr says my son is what they call a kid who thinks outside the box! you aint kidding, if he only new lol. so thats really about it around here, im waiting on my blood work results yet again a week n half later, imagine that! my boyfriend is like why do you care so much if anythings changed they will call you, im like if you were sick wouldnt you like to no whats going on with you??????? sorry i care to no whether im getting better, sick or staying the same thats just me. i had to tell him that was just a stupid thing to say, mean arent i lol! see even when im down and out and what ever i still can have a sence of humor, youve got too! well im pretty sure im forgetting something but i think this entry is long enough! hope everyone has a great weekend. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 3:19 PM
Sunday, February 8, 2009
so its sunday again, where did the weekend go its just flying by! im doing pretty good although today is a bla day for me, just dont feel like doing a darn thing!
was suppose to meet up with my cousin saterday nite (the one who left me hanging last weekend) she wanted to go bowling with the kids. no can do i told her, my son has a cold yet again and this time its a bad one and plus hes got stuff coming out of his eyes so i dont no if hes got pink eye, his eye isnt real red or anything. i didnt want her kids to get sick, she thinks i was just not wanting to go cause she asked why cant you just come. but hey im mom when the kid is sick i cant, well i can cause dad was here but i cant just leave while hes sick! plus boyfriend has a real bad cold and being a baby and he wouldnt want me to leave.
so just ended up going to walmart and getting some stuff on sale! and then went to the truck stop and ate dinner. came home played some wii and called it a nite, not that exciting but it was spent together with these darn sick people! lol i hope they dont pass this crap to me!
so we anyway we talked about getting together next weekend for bowling so we shall see what happens. i was invited to a party( a special only for girls kinda party) wink! in a couple weeks wich i will deffiently be trying to go too only because my friend who invited me i havent seen her in over a year and its been too long! well dont no what im going to do with myself today, well half the days gone already. i guess ill just finish up the laundry and figure out what me and the kid our gonna eat for dinner, daddys working. hope everyones weekend is going good. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 4:06 PM
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Posted by *Tracy* at 9:32 PM
Friday, January 23, 2009
Posted by *Tracy* at 12:57 PM
Monday, January 19, 2009
so heres what is for dinner tonite,vegetable beef soup i made for the first time. its quite yummy but why do my noodles get so darn mushy, i even cooked them first before i added them to the crockpot. this soup is perfect for today its a snowy coooooold day! i did end up going out friday for karaoke and had a great time even though i was dying that nite when my hand got so numb from the cold that it was burning and i was in so much pain. once i got home i had to run my hand under the water for quite a while. will teach me to not wear gloves, who do you think went out the very next day and bought a pair lol. im feelin quite happy today, i had a girl ask to be my friend on myspace and not noing that we both have polymyositis muscle disease and shes around my age and lives near where i live. it was just so exciting and i hope that i have the chance to get to no her more, maybe i wont feel so alone sometimes now :) my drs office called today but of course not with my blood results they said they didnt have them, i think thats bullcrap! i think they have them they are just lazy in that office. she called cause i needed a refill on my prilosec and my dr wanted to no why walmart faxed them for a refill when you can buy it over the counter. well duh i want a prescription cause thats what you always wrote me out for and ill let my little insurance i do have pay for it, why should i pay for it! its like $22 over the counter . sometimes i wonder about them people in that office. before i forget thank you christy from color me healthy for the award, i very much appreciate it! iv gotta catch up on everyones blogs im behind. im hope everyone is having a great monday. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 5:44 PM
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
sooooooooo im trying to go out tonite for karaoke, iv gotta get out of this house and see people!!!! lol. just waiting to hear back from my wonderful sis n law if shes gonna babysitt for me, if not just might have to leave bf at home since hes will be home by 3 today and make him babysitt! im having a much better day then yesterday, yesterday was mood swing central for me. im still waiting to hear back from drs office for my blood work results, i did it last friday and here its friday so i no they have the results they just always take their good ole time calling me grrrrrrrrr. i just wanna no how im doing and if they are gonna lower my predisone im at 60 mil and have been for 4 months now, we got down to 40 mil before that and i started doing bad so we had to up it back up but like i said as long as results come back good we can lower it wich would be sooooo nice. i have so many side effects from that pill it just aint right lol. so whats for dinner folks? im having chicken that i cooked in crockpot and pulled it apart and put barbaque sauce all over it, not sure what im having on the side though. me and bf got into it yesterday cause i asked him does he love me, we ask this of one another sometimes and most times he'll say something smartass thats just him and i do the same. but he told me he loves me but sometimes he hates me with a passion and i was like are you serouis and he was like yes, i just burst out crying cause that really hurt my feelings but it was a mood swing day, i was like how can you say that and he realized how hurt i was and he said that he shouldnt have put it that way but i get what hes saying theres days when he makes me soooooo mad i say i hate you and feel just like i really do but once i calm down i realize i dont and apologize. he did apologize for saying it that way and was hugging on me wich is not like him so i felt better and later that day he did say that he appreciates me and doesnt always tell me or show it but he appreciates all i do. now thats saying alot coming from him cause he doesnt exspress himself much or compliment me, he only only says something when i do something wrong or look like crap etc. i just for some reason latley need to no im loved and feel love, i always feel like im alone............... oh oh i hope im not having another moodswing lol. im okay today really...............i think i just think to much. well hope you all stay warm and have a great weekend. HEY HOW COME NO IS LEAVING ME A VOICE MESSAGE, IM NOT FEELIN THE LOVE PEOPLE LOL. HUGS
Posted by *Tracy* at 1:43 PM
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
i just realized on my last post i put its tuesday lol. i guess i am a little insane i cant remember what day it is from the next! have a good one. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 12:25 PM
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down..
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffeepot for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write "< /SPAN>For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
9. Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
10. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, " I won! I won!"
11. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
12. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER, AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Posted by *Tracy* at 12:00 PM
Monday, January 12, 2009
well its monday again just another day! but im glad to have woken up and alive lol. nothing to intresting going on right now, weekend was pretty unevenful, bf didnt take me anywhere i guess just too tired and i didnt push the issue. this week it will get to me though ill be going stir crazy wanting to get out of this house. i mopped the floor today and washed the runner at the door way and as bf was leaving today he slipped, i havent seen him yet but i hope he didnt really hurt himself , he said his toe hurts, i felt so bad! he apologized to me though cause he flipped out on me and i was like what?????? all i did was mopp the darn floor lol. i had to get gum out of my sons hair tonite for the first time, i new it was bound to happen. i asked him how it got there and he said he put it in there, he must think its like stickers and they come right out but trust me he no longer thinks that, i had to use peanutbutter it worked great! i got my blood work done friday cause my sis came down and took me so hopefully ill hear from my dr soon, curouis to no what my muscle test came back like. i havent felt good the last couple days just so weak and like i could just collapse at anytime when walking around, not a good feelin. today i felt better though, hense mopping the floor lol. i get depressed and dont like it but soooo glad i dont get it like some people i no or read about, i feel really bad for people who have depression bad. my sis has it real bad and about once a month i have to talk her down or let her no life is worth living no matter what. it just really breaks my heart to see people suffer like that, i truley hope i never get it that bad! we were suppose to get snow over the weekend but we didnt thank god!!!!!! not even rain it was accually nice out. my weight is getting on my nerves!!!!!! im up 13 pds in aweek. i no its from swelling and such and maybe cause i have been eating what i want but i havent been eating alot. i just truley truley hate gaining and dread weighing myself but its like a drug i have to do it! but if my test come back bad that might have something to do with it to, my muscles come into play with my weight i think. well thats about it nothing exciting like i said, i hope everyone whos having a hard time gets thrue it and your all in my thoughts and prayers. have a good week. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 9:09 PM
Monday, January 5, 2009
im wide eyed and bushy tailed this mornin for the most part lol. i feel so much better right now than i have for days so i hope what ever i had is gone!!!!!! my son is still sick though, poor thing. i was going to send him to school because he was acting fine and no more throwing up but then he threw up this morning so couldnt send him. if i send him and school calls i have no way of picking him up so as much as i wanted him to go to school it isnt happening. iv really got to get to the hospital and get my usual blood work done and get my check up ct scan but just dont no how im going to do it with no ride. bf has the car all day while hes working and im stuck with no vehicle it can really be a pain in the butt! im trying to get a hold of my sister to seeif she can come help me out but shes always so busy and i hate asking for favors from people but i gotta get this stuff done. well when i was sick i lost over 10pds wich i was sooooo happy about but since i was able to eat a little yesterday i gained 2 back today wich is a bummer but i new it was gonna happen. so im just going to watch what i eat and not go crazy and see if the scale goes down anymore. thats my goal for this year is too not gain any weight and loose if at all possible while on these steroids and meds. im not saying its my resolution cause that never works, just really going to focus all i can on me and getting myself better so i can be a better mother and girlfriend! suppose to get some mixed weather this week, some snow :( did i mention im sure i have before i hateeeee snow! i dont have to go out in it so you would think it wouldnt bother me but i just worry about the people who have to drive on the rds etc and about bf cause he drives all day. hopefully we wont get to much. well gonna get off here and try to find something on this internet that will tell me how to get cat throw up off my carpet, iv scrubbed and scrubbed at it and i can still see a faint stain and its urking my nerves, wheres the carpet cleaner when you need it! hope everyone has a great monday and week. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 8:56 AM
Saturday, January 3, 2009
like i said in my last post i was sick as a dog yesterday and feelin better today but not perfect. iv had a cough for days and have been weezing wich isnt really normal for me. so for about 2 months or less now when i blow my nose i get blood most times, not alot lot but blood and sometimes when i cough blood. well since yesterday iv been coughing alot and spitting out you no what like crazy and its had blood in it, not everytime though. my boyfriend said the blood is from the dry air and it makes my nose dry, but my nose isnt dry if anything im always sniffling. so should i call my dr and make an appt as this could be something serouis or not worry about it. i dont like to run to my drs for just anything as i see them enough as it is. also have this pain on my left side of chest, thats in my shoulder and travels to my back, comes and goes thrue the day. had it one time last month and now have had it on and off for 2 days. im the type i just wait things out but with the medication im on and stuff i dont no if i should keep putting it off. thanks hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 7:30 PM
my blog is fixed accually i just never got a chance to write it yesterday, so thanks to all for your suggestions and to missyz from missyzs stuff for taking that darn header off for me :) im gonna go now i was sick as a dog yesterday and spent my day in the bathroom and in bed. i feel better today but not tottally. hope everyone is having a good saterday! hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 4:09 PM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
well im beginning to think this header is going to give me grief forever! iv done everything you guys said, thank you by the way! and it wont remove. i hit remove it just keeps flashing the picture i mean, i highlight it and try to delete it and theres no delete that shows up. what is up with that! is there anything else i can do, i really dont want to look at that thing all year long lol. how is everyones new years day so far? mines okay just doing the usual around here and waiting for bf to get off work. its sooooooo cold outside, im sitting here and its not cold in this house but im froze! i really need to get a electric blanket !iv never had one cause im too cheap to spend the money lol but im sure it would come in handy right about now. heard from my father today wich was nice he wished me a happy newyears, i dont hear from him much so that was great. i really dont have anything else to say i think my brain is froze! i hope everyone has a great day. hugs
Posted by *Tracy* at 2:53 PM