Wednesday, November 19, 2008

drs appt and such

god i think im falling apart lol. now iv got this pain in my left shoulder near my chest and all on my left side near my ribs and hurts when i breath. it started last nite and has been hurting ever since although right now its not as bad. i dont no if its gallbladder related or something else. i go to the regular dr tonite to get my pulminary lung test done so ill ask the dr, hopefully he can tell me what it is. bf had no work today cause there just wasnt any. sucks cause he drives a stone slinger ( like a dump truck but slings rocks) and gets payed by loads, if no loads gets no pay. so that is stressing me out a bit cause work has slowed down so much and hes not getting many loads so pay checks have cut down quite a bit, maybe thats whats causing me pain, the stress, who no's. so anyway hes again trying to fix the car, thought it was fuel pump, $100.00 later its not that. so now hes bought a brain or computer thingy and seeing if its that, this car is driving me crazy! we have to borrow a relatives car tonite just to go to the drs and i soooo need to get out of this house. i have been in this house for 7 days straight except if you want to count going out on the porch to get son off to school and afternoon, thats it! im going stir crazy! i was suppose to get my new meds im trying out for my muscles last friday but havent been able to get them cause couldnt get to the store, will deffiently try to get them tonite. bf and i were talking about marriage and i was saying how im willing to get married at the court house and then spend a few days in nashville for honeymoon/vacation. iv always wanted to go to nashville but we never seem to have the money or something comes up when you have the money. but i thought this sounded like a great plan. not tottally happy about getting married at a court house but will settle for that if i have too. he seemed to like the idea but its up in the air and deffiently wont happen till like tax time or something when we have MONEY! we were engaged 3 yrs ago but then we stopped talking about it and i lost the ring (gasp) and etc . so we are still engaged just dont no when we will get married wich bugs the hell out of me, i feel like something is missing. i hate calling someone iv been with for 6yrs my bf you no, i want to be made an honest woman. but hes in no rush already been there done that but he nos the rule like iv said to him many times before........... ill be 29 monday if im not married by 30 then goodbye lol. he thinks im joking and maybe i am but im not going to wait around forever for someone to marry me. im not getting any younger or any better right now...... sometimes i think maybe hes holding off on marrying me cause im sick, who would want to marry a sick woman? just these thoughts in my head today dont mind me. maybe i want that added security feeling? but anywho hope everyone is having a good week and its going by pretty fast i think. have a good one. hugs


Anonymous said...

Hey you never know.... he could be planning a HUGE SUPRISE and is playing around like he doesnt want to marry you to make the suprise huge and make you real happy

I hope you will stick around long enough to find that out and if not lol then id tell him buh-bye lol!

~ Christopher ~

MISSY said...

As long as you two love one another, that's what's important. He's been with you for six years so I don't think it's fear of commitment or because you're sick. I think it's exactly what you said, "he's been there and done that". I have been married myself and now my boyfriend is all anxious to get married and I like the idea but there is no rush really and I don't look at him any differently. I guess once you've already done something once, the excitment goes away about it..I can understand where you are coming from though.. -Missy

Lucy said...

Oh Tracy, I am glad you are going to see a doctor. I just feel so uneasy about all the health problems you are having. I have not been feeling well for about 4 days but I think it is a virus. Cough and ache all over. You hang in there my girl. If BF does not want to marry you because of your health that makes me feel like he is selfish. You are a pretty lovely person. Lucy

Lucy said...

It was good to hear from you. Not been on much myself but I think I may live now. Lucy

Karen said...

Follow you heart! It speaks the truth and will guide you when you are confused.