Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Well drs office finally called today, took em long enough! my dr wanted to no if i had made my appt with the lung dr yet wich i havent because i thought i could wait alittle longer since i need to get an appt with a surgion first for my gallbladder. so anyway my results showed that my lungs have changed and gotten worse, they were compared to Feb 09. so its like iv waited all this time and wanted a answer now i have one and all its done is freak me out!!! lol

i dont want a lung problem, my mom died from lung cancer and iv always been afraid im gonna die young like her. i need to stop thinking like that and just try to take care of myself the best i can.

i need to really call these people and get appts set up but i keep putting it off...... why??????? i think im just scared and rather pretend i dont have a problem. i guess its the same reason why i cant loose weight and keep it off. i figure im fat im not hurting anyone. but really im hurting myself. i just feel like theres so much going on with me right now its a little overwelming! i need to loose weight, iv got a lung problem, iv got muscle disease, iv got a bad gallbladder. its like what the hell else! iv gotta quit feeling sorry for myself and do something about it i no, thats the first step! sorry such a downer these are just the thoughts in my head today! its a hot one out there, stay cool. later


Emmi said...

It's a hard road but one that's worth taking. I find myself asking the same question when it comes to my weight. My husband loves me big or small, my kids love me just the way I am so why does it matter if I lose the weight. I guess we keep trying because we want to do better by our bodies cause it's the only body we have. We have to take care of it the best we can. Hugs.