Today wasnt a bad day but wasnt good either. nothing happened i just wasnt happy and didnt feel peppy like yesterday. i wanted to be alone and have quite! once my son gets home from school though its time for the noise and hes so loud, iv gotta constantly tell him quit yelling lol. i was so glad when his father came home and took him out with him to run some errands so i could be alone. just one of those days where loud noise , jumping around etc was driving me crazy. still no results yet from my test..........maybe tomm??? i can only hope.

I was watching this show earlier called bait car or something like that, people are so dumb, trying to steal cars. i feel no sympathy for people who steal etc. thats why i hardley trust anyone these day.

write now im watching a show dealing with people with ocd. now iv joked before and said im alittle ocd and i think i really am but man these people i feel so bad for them, it controls their life majorally! i get real anxouis having to go places by myself , dont no why but i do. i get nervous calling people on the phone , dont no why lol. when i dont clean my house wich is alot less often then before, i use to vacuum my floors twice a day now im lucky if i do it every other day. anyway it haunts me, i feel soo dirty if i dont get it done and ill think about it all day. BUT i try to not let it control me, iv had to say to myself there is more to life then wether i vacuumed the floor that day, even if it makes me feel good. so i have some deep issues wich im sure come from my up bringing but you gotta try to not let it control you. wish i could say the same for food, thats an issue too! oh and dont get me started on shoes worn in the house i cant stand that and dont allow it.

Man i shouldnt watch this show it makes me think to much! lol

so hopefully we will be going to karaoke tomm nite wich is burger nite! dont feel much like having a burger but it would be nice to go out for even an hr.

iv gained 5 pds :( not happy but i keep loosing and gaining the same 5pds couple times aweek. i no my eating could be better and i need to watch that. damn that orange cake haunting me in the kitchen. see i do something nice for bf, bake him a cake and now its like i wanna just keep eatin it lol. thats why i havent made a cake in over a year. i feel like all over the place, my mind is just racing.

i think im gonna try to go to sleep. awesome to see i have some new readers, Yay! SORRY im not intresting to read, i wasnt blessed with story telling lol. later