not having a good day!

okay so this post is gonna be a downer so if you dont want to read about my whining then you might wanna stop reading now lol. im just not having a good day, where do i start.................i think im about to have a gallbladder attack, my stomache is starting to hurt real bad and iv just got the feelings i always get when im about to have one, i hope its not too bad if thats the case. im just so weepy today, i think i need a good cry or something! i miss my bf sooo much i havent seen him since 2:00pm yesterday cause hes been working emergency on call and i have no clue when i will see him. last nite was the first time i stayed home all nite with out him here, needless to say i didnt sleep to good. i dont like being home at nite by myself and could not do it always im too chicken! my dr called today and my muscle test or still bad , they havent gone down at all in the last 5, 6 weeks. so thats means ovously this new medicine isnt working and the steroids arent working either. wich i dont get why cause the steroids were working for couple months and now my test just keep coming back bad and i dont no whats going on and where to go from here. if the test keep coming back bad but i feel okay than im not too worried but if it means in the long run im going to start getting sick again i just cant do it and thats what scares me. im already stuck in this house alot due to only having one car and wish i could get out more. but to not be able to leave my house again cause im too weak to walk and stuff i just dont want to go thrue again. so i guess i just need to keep the faith and when i see my dr on monday we can figure what we are going to do. i need to not get myself upset before i truley understand whats going on. to all that do read my blog i dont write about my disease for anyone to feel pity or anything just to thow that out there i just have to write how i feel down, it helps me to feel better since i dont have alot of people to confide in. but yes please dont ever feel sorry for me( this means you lucy) cause trust me i doing fine, better than alot of people. i can get out of my house, walk, do things for myself, your son is the one that truley suffered and it breaks my heart when i think about it! so anyway just going to try to have a good day the best i can and quite being so down. i hope you all have a great weekend. hugs